After spinal surgery, a writer reconnects with intimacy and self-pleasure
Jodi-Ann Burey describes how a decade of unexplained pain led to the discovery of a spinal cord tumor, which threatened paralysis. After surgery, she re-examined her relationship with her body and sexuality, finding new ways to experience pleasure despite disability and medical trauma.
Burey's symptoms began with right elbow pain and evolved over three years to include hand weakness and leg instability. Medical professionals had offered several diagnoses—pinched nerve, tendinitis, thoracic outlet syndrome—before an MRI revealed the spinal tumor. One surgeon warned that without intervention, paralysis from the neck down could occur within a year, and the operation itself carried the same risk.
She delayed surgery for five weeks, during which she met Nicolas on a dating app. Their relationship developed through phone calls and a brief Seattle visit before her procedure. Following successful surgery, Burey spent three weeks in inpatient rehabilitation relearning basic motor functions while maintaining their connection by phone, with Nicolas promising future adventures together.
This personal narrative could resonate with the millions living with chronic pain, disability, or medical trauma who rarely see their intimate experiences reflected in mainstream media. By openly discussing how surgery reshaped her relationship with pleasure, Burey may help normalize conversations about sexuality after bodily change, potentially encouraging others to explore adapted forms of intimacy. The piece could also influence how healthcare providers and partners approach post-surgical emotional and sexual wellbeing.