Hoda Kotb Used a Self-Blame Trick to Stay Calm When Her Daughter Sneaked Out
Hoda Kotb discussed on her podcast how she used a therapist-recommended technique to handle her daughter Haley leaving home without permission. She told herself the incident was her fault to avoid reacting angrily, then later talked to Haley about why she ran off. The approach helped her understand her daughter's feelings while still setting boundaries.
Kotb's therapist suggested a week-long exercise in which she would privately assign herself blame for any mishap, a tactic meant to prevent her from entering confrontations with heightened anger. When the babysitter called in a panic about Haley's solo bike trip to an ice cream truck, Kotb arrived home frustrated but paused at the door to reset her mindset before addressing her daughter.
After dinner, Kotb sent Haley upstairs early and followed to ask why. Haley tearfully admitted she had left because she missed a friend. Kotb acknowledged the emotion, validated her daughter's feelings, then firmly established that riding off alone was not acceptable, allowing the conversation to end without yelling or tears.
This story may offer parents a practical example of de-escalating emotionally charged moments with children, potentially influencing how some families approach discipline. By modeling a pause-before-reacting strategy, Kotb's public sharing could normalize discussions about parenting struggles and encourage more reflective responses over impulsive punishment. However, the technique's effectiveness likely varies by child temperament and family dynamics, and it may not suit every situation.