When Fathers Regret What They Denied Themselves
The piece distinguishes between fathers' regret over ways they may have harmed their children and a self-directed regret over choices they made for themselves. It suggests that men can mourn lost parts of their identity, such as abandoned creative ambitions or relationships avoided out of fear. Recognizing these neglected aspects may allow fathers to reclaim important pieces of who they still want to become.
The article by Brad E Sachs Ph.D., posted in October 2026 and reviewed by Jessica Schrader, appears under a career heading and examines fathers’ regret during the empty-nest period. It separates regret about harming children from regret about personal choices, including career paths, marriages, work habits, creative dreams, and estranged family relationships.
The author notes that these regrets often overlap: a father’s workaholism, emotional intolerance, harsh expectations, or estrangement from a child can also reflect ways he neglected himself. Recognizing these abandoned qualities, the piece suggests, may help fathers reconnect with identities they still hope to develop.
This perspective may resonate with fathers approaching or experiencing an empty nest, as well as their adult children and partners. By naming self-directed regret, it could encourage men to seek counseling, revisit abandoned interests, or repair relationships. It may also reduce shame by framing regret as a signal of unmet identity needs rather