Columnist runs Doom on DNS database
A columnist argues that DNS is essentially a database and demonstrates how its lookup and storage capabilities can be used to execute instructions. By chaining DNS queries, he shows it is possible to build a computer and run the game Doom on a 32-bit machine whose arithmetic and memory reside in DNS. The piece is a humorous exploration of DNS's flexibility and the recurring joke that DNS is often the culprit.
Corey Quinn treats DNS as a general-purpose data store, noting that databases hold strings, integers, JSON, coordinates, and specialized types. He reasons that if answers to arithmetic and comparisons can be stored, then instructions, memory, and sequencing can also be represented through lookups.
By chaining queries, he compiled Doom for a 32-bit system whose arithmetic and memory reside in DNS. A helper program provides wiring and timing. Performance is slow: one early input took 577 seconds, later reduced to 146 seconds, with BIND query times around microseconds but millions of lookups per frame.
This experiment may mainly affect systems administrators, DNS operators, and security teams by reinforcing that DNS can carry unexpected computation and traffic. It could inspire creative misuse or deeper scrutiny of query volume, logging, and rate limits. For most users, the practical impact is likely minimal, but the stunt may add weight to the long-running joke that DNS is often the hidden cause of network oddities.