Reflecting on Grief and Gratitude After Losing a Sister and Best Friend
The author reflects on the fifth year since losing her sister-in-law and best friend, Marilyn. She describes writing and daily remembrance as ways to process grief and honor Marilyn's life. She also recounts a reader who found solace in her earlier essays and gradually re-engaged with life.
Barbara A. Jaffe, Ed.D., has spent a decade writing on Psychology Today about grief, loss, trauma, and recovering joy. Her sister-in-law and closest friend, Marilyn, died five years before this piece. Jaffe keeps a daily practice of greeting Marilyn when her computer screen shows a photo from a book signing Marilyn arranged.
A grieving reader told Jaffe that replacing Marilyn’s name with her own lost loved one’s name helped her reread the essays and gradually return to life. During hospice, Marilyn spoke about dying, acceptance, and the rare friendship they shared, expressing gratitude without asking why this happened to her.
This story may resonate with grieving adults, caregivers, hospice families, and readers navigating loss. By showing writing, rituals, and gratitude as ongoing coping tools, it could encourage some people to seek comfort in shared narratives or therapy. Its portrayal of a reader re-engaging with life may reduce isolation and normalize slow healing. However, responses to grief vary, so the piece may support reflection rather than prescribe a single path.